BMW Drivers, Cocks, See the resemblance?

BMW drivers sucks Power Rangers' sidekick balls. Big time.

Anyone remembers Alpha 5?

I can't remember when I developed a diabolical hatred for BMW's on the road, but I think it started when BMW drivers start acting like disgusting, face-melting big black cocks which holes fit golf balls. 2 of them. I can't stress enough how much I hate BMW drivers on the road. Now I'm sorry, if you drive a BMW, sell it off and stop being a cock that you are. Otherwise, make love to your stupid German car.

Just like him.

The other day I was cruising comfortably on the road at a comfortable 60. People who know me knows I'm not a so-called adrenaline pumping, fast driving, risk taking bloke who has an obsession of welding my skull to the nearest lamp post. And there I was, on that rainy afternoon just comfortably driving with a third of my eyes closed, just lowering down my chilling air-con and listening to some sweet symphony of metal. I can see the little droplets of rain dropping on my windshield, I thought it was forming some word, something like "Tits"... but I'm not sure. Then there was the clouds, the dark low clouds taking form of a black unicorn... The birds flying by soaking wet trying to... HOLYFUCKS!

O_O

Some middle aged cock somehow managed to squeeze through what's left of the road between my car and and another slightly in front to my left. Genuinely a wtf moment, shocked. It's almost like seeing The King of Pop again, in his red thriller suit, while he is white.

For no mere mortal can resist, the evil of the thriller.

It's either that or the utter dipshit on the other end of the spectrum. There you go pissed off being stuck in a traffic jam, then to your right you see this blithering idiot in a BMW, leaving this gap between his stupid German metal on wheels with the car in front. MOVE UP dumbass! Things you can fit in that stupid gap include:

(In ascending order in size)
1) 30 catholic priests
2) 10 tonnes of cheese
3) 1 baby whale
4) 2 weeks of government bullshit
5) Oprah Winfrey (barely)

It's a fucking jammed up road, people are trying to get to where they want to go quick, and you're definitely not helping. Watching you is like watching a blind man being molested by a Swedish homosexual with a shiny chin, butt naked.

Oh you'll see why.

Good job cockface. You bought a stupid German car, not the whole fucking road.

Just because you afford a big ass German car doesn't mean you have to act like some meddling redneck gangster on the road. Yes it is a BMW, big fucking deal. Fuck BMW's. Let's see how gangster you are when your face has permanently chemically bonded with the tree, and not die. I hope the ants eat your eyeballs.

If you want to be a sensible, normal and civilised person, buy something else. Anything. Except Korean cars. If you are such an utter hooligan that's addicted to bad ass driving, buy yourself a Volvo. Volvo's are made to destroy. It is possibly Sweden's secret military solution. My friend once had a Volvo, he was sleeping until he felt a nudge. The driver and his family got out of the car, turns out they rammed a bull dead. With this kind of monster on the road, we obviously need to put up more signs.

Her as in the cow, not the driver. Feminist groups, go away.

The car suffered a dent size of a Korean ball (if Korean balls exists). The bull, playing chess with Mr. Jesus. GOOD NEWS! Are you a butcher? Do you work in a boring slaughterhouse? Tired of making a living out of electrocuting cows? Bored of watching exsanguinating cows upside down? Don't worry! Now there's a solution to your meaningless empty life!

Volvo XC "Crossed-Cow" 90

Just ram a nearest cow with a Volvo and push it to a nearest station to process it's meat. So much more ethical than paralysing it with electricity and slicing its arteries, leaving it bleed to death. Now meat production has never been so much fun. The process is fun, and Sweden enjoys an additional growth in GDP, win-win situation. And the rest of you can still suck on your stupid beef.

Fuck Beef.

Personally, I don't fancy Volvo's. But the country that made Ikea cannot suck that bad. So try a Volvo. If it breaks down really quickly, take it as the price of being a gangster on the road. Oh, and HAHA!

I end my post with a song from Sweden. Enjoy.



Junster's Tip of the Day: Drive safe, sell your BMW.

Love the holidays,
The Junster

Tribute

The Hammer :

The Hammer is extremely pleased with the recent victory of Barack Obama in the US Presidential Election. For all you who have no idea what The Hammer is talking about, fuck off and go back to the cave you live in, you fucking Neanderthal.

For all you doubters out there, we at CocaineCorn actually do give a shit about matters apart from ourselves, though sparingly and within a certain quota.

Items that are equally/more important to The Hammer
1. Pork
2. Mary Jane
3. The writer of "Live Forever"
4. The singer of "Good Vibrations".

Still No.1

If you think that by reading this, you have deduced the identity of The Hammer, then you're wrong. Even if you're right, you're not.

So lick my pink, fat dick.

But I digress,

Barack Obama's victory has signaled an end to 8 years of mismanagement, destruction, and sheer stupidity.

In short, Barack Obama is not American.

Grew up in the streets of Asia. No wonder he has a brain

A man of African parentage, a Middle Eastern name and an Asian upbringing, America has finally found a truly global president that appeals to more than just the shotgun-toting rednecks of the Bible Belt.

The Hammer hopes that Mr.Obama will have watched " An Inconvenient Truth", as opposed to the ignorant outgoing American government, which actually regarded global warming as a hoax.

A hoax.

Can you believe that ?

Al Gore lie for fucks ah, not like he get money also. ( The Malaysian in me)

The world is bidding goodbye to a nightmare 8 years in which the Bush administration contrived to screw up everything that is good in this planet.

From destroying the American economy, and vicariously the world's economy, to igniting wars in the Middle East, George Bush has done an excellent job in fucking up.

However, The Hammer heard a rumour that President Bush experimented with marijuana as a young man, but DID NOT INHALE.

WOW.

Well, shithead, Barack Obama DID inhale, and look where he is now.

You HAVE to inhale

Suck his African-American dick George, 'cause it's probably bigger than yours!

The Hammer,
Signing off

P.S. : The Hammer senses subsidies for the rap industry and more showtime for Oprah

Finally! An Update!

Been missing me? Yes I know.

FINALLY AN UPDATE!























Just kidding suckers, wipe of your orgasms you just had 3 seconds ago.

Patience losers... patience.

Junster's Tip of the Day: In an event of stumbling upon updates on Cocaine Corn, the usage of a condom can avoid potential mess.

:)

Poll on the right.

Sleeping pills are bad for health,
The Junster

World of Warcraft

The Hammer:

The Hammer hates World of Warcraft (WoW).

Alongside Ragnarok Online, Maple Story and a host of other ridiculously stupid online games, The Hammer hates WoW with a vengeance.

Satan

For all you fellow WoW "noobs", as WoW players call us, WoW is a MMORPG. The Hammer knows the meaning but can't be bothered to type it down. Go wiki it on your own time.

But i digress.

According to official figures, there are an estimated 16 million subscribers to World of Warcraft. (16 million people account for 0.266% of the global population.)
In Malaysia, it costs these sorry sad sods a "paltry" RM115 for 2 months.


That's highway robbery.

The Hammer could probably purchase marijuana for 2 months with that kinda layout.

The Last Supper. Marley style

The gist of World of Warcraft (as The Hammer can presume from light reading), is to level up your character by fighting beasts in a game environment or other players who are losers such as the player himself. ( The Hammer uses "him" because girls don't play WoW)

The problems with World of Warcraft are huge, as pointed out in the South Park episode, "Make love, not Warcraft".

Players of WoW are USUALLY fat slobs who spend their days playing WoW, eating meals, dreaming about playing WoW, and dreaming about WoW.

WoW anybody ?

These people are detrimental to their friends as WoW > commitments to friends sometimes, which usually gets on the nerves of some lesser-WoW-inclined people.

WoW addicts spend their days cooped up in front of their computer fighting mythical beasts in order to "level up" and are willing to sacrifice shots at a LIFE by achieving this.

Game addiction has actually become a serious issue.

A child in South Korea died of NEGLECT due to the fact that his WoW-addicted parents couldn't care less about a living person, but instead chose to level up an 'avatar'.

Ridiculous. (Koreans, pfft)

Would you trust them with YOUR kids?

However, WoW does have its plus sides.

I'm sure Blizzard Entertainment helped improve the unemployment rate. =)

Vigorously masturbating to REAL women,
The Hammer

We kick ass, You don't.

Cocaine Corn is Good aims to serve quality and random blog content for the open minded. We aim to put a smile on your face after taking shit from your boss that weighs like 2 cows, ass fucked by your teacher who is probably old enough to lactate sour milk, going through a day without Pork or your "best friend" who's getting his boner passionately up your girl. For the past 30 days, the Cocaine Corn Team had provided kick ass ad-free content to all readers of Cocaine Corn. Today Cocaine Corn turns one month old. You cocks are probably wondering by now, what the fuck are these morons doing with this post. Simple.

ALL THE PEOPLE, SO MANY PEOPLE.
THANK YOU!

Lazer spends so much on games he don't afford to cut his hair. :)

Also, you're probably wondering why we even bother to thank anybody since we think, or rather, we know we kick ass. But in this case, we only have YOU to thank (even you anon, but we don't like you) for making Cocaine Corn a success.



You see fellow readers, unlike the blog you probably own, we here at Cocaine Corn value and appreciate our readers, for if it weren't for your support, we'd be conceited and read our own blog ourselves, and desperately try to fake site statistics by using proxy servers as a form of nerdy masturbation. In english, we're virgins.

Virgin

Throughout our first month, we have achieved our pre-targeted goals with ease, thanks to you. Here are some statistics we are able to draw up based on the last month.

1) Cocaine Corn hits its 1000th unique visitor on its 24th day of operation. Kick ass.

2) Cocaine Corn has 1270 unique visitors on its first month. Kick ass.

3) We have got 1 hater out of the others on Cocaine Corn. Kick ass.

4) Some Cocaine Corn readers bother to sodomise haters with eggplants. Kick ass.

5) 100% of Cocaine Corn readers think Cocaine Corn is the best blog in the world. Kick ass.

6) 100% of Cocaine Corn readers are almost cool. Kick ass.

7) 58% of Cocaine Corn readers hate ads. Kick ass.

8) 58% of Cocaine Corn readers don't blog. Kick ass.

9) 11% of Cocaine Corn readers are not annoyed by fucking ads.

10)11% of Cocaine Corn readers are bloggers.

11)29% of Cocaine Corn readers wants to suck The Junster's cock. Kick ass.

12)29% of Cocaine Corn readers are gay. Not so kick ass.

13)Jesus and Buddha reads Cocaine Corn.

See?

At Cocaine Corn is that we don't serve ads. It has been taken into consideration, however we weren't able to decide. If we serve ads, we gain more readers and not to mention cash. But we know ads might annoy some readers. Hence a poll was carried out and the answer is clear. If Cocaine Corn wants no ads, then we shall serve no ads. This is why Cocaine Corn kicks your gliteratti balls. By the way, the 29% of fags may not suck The Junster's cock.

Initially, the Cocaine Corn Team expected no more than 500 visitors. And the results for the first month were very satisfying, considering we don't serve ads nor join big blog community sites. Your support meant a lot to us. Honest. No Really. Hence the Cocaine Corn Team is dedicated to serve you more quality contents that keep you coming back for more. Here we would like to encourage comments and interaction to make Cocaine Corn kick ass even harder. Also, if you like Cocaine Corn, link us up and tell your loser friends to be winners at Cocaine Corn.

Remember, to be a winner, all you need to do is compete with losers. Why do you think we took up blogging ?

Loser

We at Cocaine Corn encourage your opinions, whether negative or positive, not because we like constructive criticism or any of that sanctimonious bullshit, but because life wouldn't be fun without a few airheads here or there who disapprove of our rather tactless approach towards life.

So please, hate mail/fan mail is MORE than welcome. Don't be a coward and leave your name though, or we wouldn't know where to send the anthrax. =)

Today's Random Shit and Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life are Cocaine Corn's original side projects. Do read up our old posts, some might give you a good time, some might make us some enemies. Oh what the heck. We hope you've enjoyed us in the past month. Have a nice day!

:)

Thank you very much,
The Cocaine Corn Team.

Mitsubishi Proton or Proton Mitsubishi?

Before I start, I would like to dedicate a perfect picture to Mr. anon who recently commented.

They say a picture says a thousand words, this one just says fuck you.

Suck my hairy balls.

No hard feelings, we love your comments actually. It made us laugh. Honestly. Keep up the good work cock. =)

Moving on.

I'm sure everyone has noticed throughout these years, some Malaysians have the cock desire of doing stuff to their cars. While I don't see the point of it, I must admit, some of them are pretty well done. After all, the passion for cars is very common around the world. Here I have a plain ol' minimal pictures post.

However, have you ever noticed that proton in front of your car? Wait, it says Mitsubishi on it. I could have sworn I saw a proton. Oh thats right, my bad, I guess I didn't see the size of the head of that idiotic dipshit behind that black tinted window in his badly remodified proton that makes a lot of noise and polutes the environment. Not forgetting the part where he puts a mitsubishi logo and a shiny mitsubishi tag in the rear of his "mean machine" hoping deeply in his heart that he would fool everyone on the streets, thinking he owns a mitsubishi.

Eat elephant shit!

Personally, I find it hilarious. I mean, who are you trying to fool? Okay okay I admit, I'm not a car wiz or anything. So no need for comments asking what do I know about cars. Frankly, I don't, not that I don't care, I just dont. But heck, even Ray Charles can tell its a proton if he was Malaysian.

Even he's not that blind.

I shall refer the common herd that practices such stupidity as Species M. *Wink*

Dear all species M,

There's no need to hide the proton-ness on your proton. We're proud of it as Malaysians. Look, we get the point, proton uses mitsubishi's engine bla bla bla. No matter how you put it, how you modify it, how you desperately insist its a mitsubishi, its still a proton.

Its like many things in life, here's a list. No matter:

1)how many watermelons u can fit in ur pussy, you are not Paris Hilton

2)how big of an asshole you say you are, you are still not Kim Il-sung

3)how gay you try to be, you are not Rain

4)how manly you think you are, you are not Chuck Norris

5)how many people call you captain annoying, you are not Alvin and the fucking Chipmunks.

Really, you may have your G-spot as deep as between your lungs, you are still no bigger whore than Lindsay Lohan. So no matter how much you try to portray an image of a mitsubishi on your proton, its still a damn proton. An ugly one thanks to your ugly looking new logo that looks like it's been welded on by apes.

Don't waste your money on mods that make your car look furthermore ridiculous, a proton is fine. Sure people won't notice you, so? Because you don't want to get the wrong attention. You must realise how big of a cock you look like in that mitsubishi proton. It's like Sean Kingston with 4 wheels. If we were to borrow Topgear's Cock-O-Meter, you will score a perfect 100 while you drive past. On a scale of 10 that is. And sodomised the machine.

Wonder what Jeremy Clarkson has to say about Proton Mitsubishis.

Not to mention it's unnessecarily loud for the speed it can achieve. Damn noisy, noisier than 2 japanese whores. If you have a Ferrari 430 Scuderia, by all means you are welcome to shake our streets, make our ears bleed, or crash and kill yourself and a couple of hippies beside the road. But you make a hell of a noise, grabbing our attention, make babies cry, just to look at your cock? If there's a punishment, you should get your big cock tied and pulled by 300 spartans till it snaps. Then kicked in the balls in an alternating manner.

The Equation of Justice

Junster's Tip of the Day: If you want a car that looks like a Mitsubishi, sounds like a Mitsubishi, performs like a Mitsubishi and includes a stock Mitsubishi logo, buy a fucking Mitsubishi.

Go away,
The Junster

Bloody Insects

The Hammer:

Insects suck. Period.

Insects have been around forever, and they still suck.

Insects have a special way of getting on your nerves, especially during situations which demand the utmost concentration.

For instance,

The Hammer loves to spend time on his throne. He absolutely loves the quality time spent in his bathroom, as they are filled with awesome memories.

Tits

HOWEVER, the time spent on his throne is usually interrupted by a buzzing mosquito in his ear. Though the satisfaction of crushing one of those little bastards with his gigantic(by comparison) fist may be more than satisfactory, the sheer effort spent on catching the little bastard could have been spent on excreting that final piece of shit that wouldn't come out.

The Caligula of irritants

Fucking mosquitoes. The fact that they spread deadly diseases such as malaria and dengue proves their lack of worth even more.

But enough about how they interrupt The Hammer's happy time, because insects suck in way more ways than that.

Cockroaches were put on this Earth by whoever it is who created Earth (scientists say the Big Bang, Christian's say God and Mormons are just stupid) to annoy and frighten the hell out of the human race.

Disgusting

According to modern biology, cockroaches are probably the toughest things alive today. Modern science tells us that cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust due to their super tough shell. That's pretty tough stuff.

They can survive THIS

AS SUCH,
The Hammer decided to put this to the test by applying pressure on one of those shells with my shoe. I expected to be rebounded to the moon due to the recoil force of even daring to apply pressure on such a powerful piece of kick-ass material.

I was disappointed. It stained my shoe.

I had to wash them

Nuclear holocaust my ass.

Spiders are not cool either.

Marvel comics may have glorified spiders, but spiders are simply NOT cool.

LIES

Spider bites hurt. And radioactive spider bites do not give you magic powers, they just give you an advanced form of cancer, plus a pain in the sensitive regions.

The worse bits are when spiders (poisonous or not) end up inside your shorts. Spiders have a penchant for creeping up a man/woman's shorts and planting a nice supple bite in the groin regions. They probably do this just for kicks cos we're so much bigger than them and we could probably blow them away with a fart.

And spider's have really wicked names. I mean,
1. Black Widow
2. Tarantula
3. Peter Parker

Don't they just reek of cruelty and malignant intentions ?

Random fact : The Hammer despises Tobey-fucking-Maguire

God, i hate him

But enough about that sorry excuse of an actor we know as Tobey-fucking-Maguire, lets move on the the next insect on The Hammer's hate list.

Flies.

God, i hate flies.

Alexander the Great of irritants

Haven't you ever came back from a long day at work, took a long dozy nap, indulged in a overflowing bubble bath and sat down for dinner, thinking that it all pays off for a horrid day at work ?

Well, it probably does.

Moving on, you're probably about to sink your teeth into that fine, succulent tender piece of meat when SUDDENLY a disgusting fly, which has probably been on piles of cowshit, rubbish and compost, perks its hundred-eye ass on your rib. What a way to ruin your rib.

Your initial reaction is horror. Then shock. Then disappointment at God for creating such a good-for-nothing creature that just desecrated your awesome dinner.

You put the rib down, dejected. Then a feeling of revenge surges through you, and you find a fly swat and hunt the bastard.

They don't taste so good no more

Now, whether or not you actually kill the fucker is contentious, but the point has been driven home.

Flies irritate people like no other insect can simply because they suck. They have hundreds of eyes which probably show them hundreds of situations to annoy us, and they do it to perfection. They have an annoying buzz when they fly, coupled with the multitudes of diseases they could be carrying. These reasons alone qualify flies as probably the most irritating insects of all time.


So people, all the people. Insects suck.

The Hammer has come to the conclusion that insects ought to be categorically exterminated without remorse, and everyone who thinks otherwise is a paedophile-praising sonfobitch.

The Hammer,
Over and out

Black Music.

You know what's stupid? Black music.

Stupidity at its best.

It hasn't always been this way though, there was once when black music was good. And I genuinely do believe there are still out there. Its just you rotten dung-ears never do yourselves a favour and stop stuffing your eardrums with computer generated ballocks of crap. Which with so many of them these days, you need ears sized of satellite dishes to fit them all in.

Fuck! You actually can!

Loosely defined, I consider black music as music black people play. To be fair, in this case I'm not being racist. So here's the thing, if there are good black music out there, why don't we know about it? Well ignorant dipshits, that's because you have hopped into the bandwagon of stupidity that is mainstream. I'm pretty sure there are people out there who do not appreciate these bullshit.

Okay how did you end up in this pile of rotten elephant cum? Thank the radio and MTV. MTV has been throwing so much shit to the mass audience that mindless dipshits (yes, if you listen to Flo Rida you are one) accepts them without developing personal taste. Here's how it goes.

1)Black music was once good
2)Black people weren't rich and they play good music.
3)MTV was created.
4)Black people get rich.
5)Black people buys *Bling* and gets cocky.
6)Black people now raps about whores and money.
7)MTV says its cool.
8)Dipshits says: Hey! MTV says its cool, lets love it although it sounds like some blithering idiot trying to sing with a mouthful of horse semen.
9)Girls accept the fact that they are whores and dances to it.
10)Stupider friends jumps into bandwagon because stupid friends like it.
11)Blonde/ blonde-like teenagers claim the song is meaningful.
12)Black man gets richer.

Wake up pussies! And these people call REAL rock music sound pollution. Fuck! These black music are the real sound pollution worthy of being taken care of, even by Al Gore's standards.

Al Gore and his shiny presentation.

MTV is getting congested with more and more crap. No longer revolve around real music, MTV focus on stupid reality TV shows with spoiled and stupid blondes with raging hormones dating guys who prolly went for rehab. Twice. At least. MTV now attracts viewers with bullshit, sexy celebrities and stupid advertisements.

How about this for an ad stupid?

Amazingly some people are buying this shit. Its stupid, when I ask people why do they like a particular singer. "OMG! Cozzz he's soooooo freeakin hot... wtf!" is what I usually get. And when I give my points to shut them up, mostly because they don't understand a thing about the music I'm talking about, they go: "Are you just jealous? Cos he's hot and you're not, and he's the one being famous now... talk to the hand... like, whatever~"

Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was Music Television not My-body-is-so-effing-hawt-and-sexy-that-you-must-listen-to-my-bullshit-and-make-me-rich Television. News flash mother fuckers! Music, read.... M-U-S-I-C television. If I hadn't forgotten, my kindergarten teacher told me music was to be heard, not to be seen. Ball licking half-wits. Come on now, looks substituting music? Pfft. Here's something to expect in another couple of more years.

MTV is now Masturbation Television.

Lyrics matter, unless you play like Eric Johnson. Many girls adores songs that, in short, says: "I found a whore in a club, she was hot, I brought her home, fucked and payed her, she was good." I'm sure a song called Low by Flo Rida is quite well known to many. While we're here, the first time I stumbled upon Low, I swear I thought his name was Florida, idiotically intentionally spelt wrongly. Turns out it was Flo R(eye)da, which immediately came to me as Floor Rider.

Making this was not fun.

Whoa! Good going dipshit! You can ride a floor! I'm sure your life is complete now! Hey hey guess what I can do, technically I'm also a Flo Sweepa, Flo Moppa, Flo Sitta, Flo Standa, Flo Stompa....... DAWG! cool huh? Utterly stupid. I haven't seen any stupider things since Chua Soi Lek riding a friend.

Like I was saying, lyrics matter, here's the lyrics for Low, no I did not write this myself, even God can't do it. Got it from a lyric site.

[Chorus:]
Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]
Boots with the fur [With the fur]
The whole club was lookin at her
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack [Ayy]
She hit the flo [She hit the flo]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

[Verse 1:]
I ain't never seen nuthin that'll make me go,
This crazy all night spendin my dough
Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go
Dem birthday cakes, they stole the show
So sexual, she was flexible
Professional, drinkin X and ooo
Hold up wait a minute, do I see what I think I
Whoa
Did I think I seen shorty get low
Ain't the same when it's up that close
Make it rain, I'm makin it snow
Work the pole, I got the bank roll
Imma say that I prefer them no clothes
I'm into that, I love women exposed
She threw it back at me, I gave her more
Cash ain't a problem, I know where it goes

She had them


[Verse 2:]
Hey
Shawty what I gotta do to get you home
My jeans full of gwap
And they ready for Shones
Cadillacs Maybachs for the sexy grown
Patrone on the rocks that'll make you moan

One stack (come on)
Two stacks (come on)
Three stacks (come on, now that's three grand)
What you think I'm playin baby girl
I'm the man, I'll bend the rubber bands

That's what I told her, her legs on my shoulder
I knew it was ova, that Henny and Cola
Got me like a Soldier
She ready for Rover, I couldn't control her
So lucky oo me, I was just like a clover
Shorty was hot like a toaster
Sorry but I had to fold her,
Like a pornography poster
She showed her


[Verse 3:]
Whoa
Shawty
Yea she was worth the money
Lil mama took my cash,
And I ain't want it back,
The way she bit that rag,
Got her them paper stacks,
Tattoo Above her crack,
I had to handle that,

I was on it, sexy woman, let me shownin
They be want it two in the mornin
I'm zonin in them rosay bottles foamin
She wouldn't stop, made it drop
Shorty did that pop and lock,
Had to break her off that gwap
Gah it was fly just like my glock


Sorry for wasting 60 seconds of your life. Trust me I do not fucking understand this. Forgive me if I'm ignorant, but what the fuck is got low? But here's a rough translation from badly written shite lyrics to reality.

Rich cocky black man sees bitch with Apple Bottom Jeans jeans and boots with the fur, with the fur. Them (don't know who) wearing baggy sweaty pants with the Reeboks with the straps, with the straps. The bitch spanked her ass and she got low?

He did not never seen nothing that will make him go. (WTF?!) Looks at bitch as a hooker, brags about his money and rubbish cars on chrome, he's got raging libido, took whore home, payed her $3000, fucked her, most likely performed cunnilingus, says whore was worth the money, she took her money and he is satisfied, has tattoo above her ass, and I seriously have no clue on the last part of the verse.

What now bitch? Don't feel so classy now do you? If that doesn't ring a bell, he treats women with no respect and sings about them being cheap. Dance to that.

Don't.

For these few years, we see black men producing non-passionate nor talented rubbish for the world. Oh I'm sorry I guess I was being unfair, now black women, also known as "shawty" by their kind, too join in the fun for some hoodie wearin, bling showering, chromed Cadillac driving, spinner spinning, booty shakin action. Even "rockers" like OneRepublik take shit from Timbaland and punk ass Travis Barker drumming to gangsta rap and hip-hop crap. Big fucking deal dickheads! REAL rock community don't need these assclowns. I was having my lunch the other day in this restaurant and MTV was on. Out of the 4 songs that i saw, 4 of them were black. Great, now niggers rule, while whites merely became wiggers.

Lets not forget the fact here that they are indeed brilliant black music around. Jazz and blues, lets face it, black people kick ass. Here is a short list of comparison between cool blacks and blacks.

Good ones we've got:

1)Jimi Hendrix, greatest guitarist of all time. Songs like Little Wing, Voodoo Chile and Red House.

2)Miles Davis, awesome blues and jazz saxophone player, Autumn Leaves is awesome.

3)Micheal Jackson, one of the most iconic blacks ever, I don't fucking care even if he molested a gay penguin, MJ is cool. Thriller, Billie Jean and so much more awesome stuff.

4)Marcus Miller, awesome bass player, passionate and lots of feel from his songs. Silver Rain is one. Even a BASSIST is better than whats to come.

and much more. But now, TV and radios only let you know about:

1)T-Pain, rubbish

2)Flo Rida, rubbish

3)Ne-Yo, rubbish

4)Sean Kingston, rubbish

5)Timbaland, rubbish

6)Rihanna, rubbish

7)Eve, rubbish

One day real music will revive. Then you'll all see.

Junster's Tip of the Day: MTV is bad for health.

I just farted,
The Junster

We have to stop looking at the bright side of life

Scenario: You're an international superstar!

Despite scoring very badly in your school exams, and failing to pick up any special skills,
you star in blockbuster movies as main characters,
you released album after album of your horrible singing (polished to perfection thanks to digital technology) of songs written by other people,
you won Grammy awards, MTV awards and the like,
all the young boys want you,
you appear in celebrity parties,
and you're super rich!

but think of it this way, you only achieved all that because you were born pretty!

Always look on the bright side of life!

Scenario: OMG! Fuck shit i broke a nail!

Hey, look at it this way, you've got 9 more!

:)

I don't actually care about nails,
The Junster

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Scenario : You were walking down the street and you found a $50 note, a rolled up joint and 3 bottles of Sprite sitting by the sidewalk for free. You spend the money on hookers, smoke the joint and drink the Sprite to quench your post-joint thirst. Suddenly a police car swings by and you get busted for possession, solicitation and drinking a policeman's Sprite and go to jail for 3 years.

Hey, look on the bright side, at least you don't have to cook for a long time =)


Is caned,
The Hammer

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Scenario: You were driving home from an awesome first date with your new girl. All of a sudden, a car swerved and you had a horrible crash. Your left leg was so severely hurt, that the Emergency Room doctor decided to amputate it. You are now a cripple.

Hey, look at it this way, at least you lost a few Kgs.

:)

Lazer, charging up.